Musings Of Alone-ness

Alone is a funny state of being. Sometimes when I come home, I think about the fact that if Someone broke in and kidnapped me, it would probably be at least a day before anyone realized I was gone. It’s depressing and just a little scary. Which is probably why every time I come home I lock my locks and throw the chain.

But the funny thing is that even though none of my friends live in this city, I’m not alone. I talk to my love everyday, multiple times a day. I talk to my friends. I talk to my parents. My boss is an amazing lady that is probably just as paranoid as me and would notice if I missed work and didn’t call in or email in. She’d think that was weird. And it would be weird.

One time my best girl friend and I synced up Netflix and started watching Season 1, Episode 1 of Buffy. We Skyped while we watched it, so that I could see every time she smiled, frowned, laughed. It was like we were sitting in the same room, watching together.

My guy friend and I watch football together. I mean we talk on vent while we are both watching our games. We yell, laugh, chat, and comfort/congratulate each other respectively. Again, it’s like I’m hanging out with him, just chillin, enjoying each others conversation and company.

And I’m making friends. I went out Wednesday with a girl that is fun and kind of enjoys my weird quirks. We had drinks and lingered over out dinners, tater tots dipped in mac and cheese, sausage and fries. Saturday I went out with the couple I met at a bar and we went to an Octoberfest. The fest was meh, but hanging out was great. We dissected the fashion of people around us and computers. Even though they know I’m leaving in November to go home, they are excited for me. They want to cram in time to hang out and show me around the city. Next weekend, we’re hopefully going to a college football game together. Oh and me and that friend are going to go to dinner again on Wednesday to celebrate her birthday.

So really, I’m not alone. Sure, when I’m maudlin, I moan that I’m the only one here, with no friends. But if I’m truly being honest with myself, I’m surrounded by friends and family. They’re virtually all around me.